Shutting Down the Bully
in Our Head
“We all have a bully in our head.” Dr. Jason Wersland, founder of Therabody and Theragun, shared this in a recent How I Built This podcast episode, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.
We all have a bully – at least one of them. Most of us have a band of bullies who travel together in a pack. They sneak up on us, and when we’re not expecting it, they jump out from behind garbage cans to tell us all of the reasons we can’t, won’t, and shouldn’t.
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’re not smart enough.”
“Why would anyone listen to you, anyway?”
“They’re going to think your idea is dumb. Don’t share it.”
“They’re all watching you, waiting for you to fail.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely about to fail.”
“Safer to play small and not try.”
The bullies suck. They hide behind the garbage cans because that’s what they throw at us – their garbage. That’s what they threw at Wersland as he was launching his new brand, and it’s what throw at us, as well. We have names for that garbage: Negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, the inner critic…
It’s time to take out the trash. Here’s how…
- Recognize the negative trash that’s being thrown at you. To get rid of it, you need to acknowledge it’s there.
- Remove the negative thoughts that are not true. Most of the time, the messages from the bullies are stories made up of lies and worries and “what-ifs” – all fueled by fear. If the thoughts the bully feeds you aren’t true, take out the trash. Make space for some positive or neutral thinking to come in.
- Replace your head trash with something better. If you’re not going to listen to the garbage stories that the bullies are telling you, you need to be prepared with something else to listen to.
When it comes to this kind of bully, one of the best ways to silence them is to back them down. At some point, we need to stand up and challenge them, along with the garbage they’re speaking into our lives. We need to let them know that we hear what they’re telling us, that we know they are liars, and that we’re taking out the trash.
Call-to-Action
Taking out the trash can be hard work, and often, doing it alone can feel overwhelming. The solution? Friends. Find those people in your circle, at home and at work, who will help you take on the bullies – and do the same for them. Stand up to them together, shoulder to shoulder, and change the stories you’re telling yourself and each other.
It’s trash day.
Ready for more?
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